Where the heck did February go?!?!?

Really, I don’t know if February checked in with any of you guys out there before it decided to piss off, but it certainly didn’t check in with me first.

And while we’re at it, where did 2013 go? And my twenties? And when did my itty bitty kittens turn into mountain-lion sized cats?

The hamsters and I have just come out of a conference with ourselves, and we’ve decided this whole thing is just not on.

And can anyone really, incontrovertibly, prove, without a shred of doubt, that there are truly 24 hours in a day?

We think there’s a conspiracy afoot.

I mean, think about it….how many to do lists just cannot possibly get finished in a single day? Don’t start with me about unrealistic expectations and reasonable goals, my goals are perfectly reasonable, the time just disappears. I mean, there is no reason I can’t do all the grocery shopping, read two books, watch a favourite movie, Skype all of my family, write three letters, do the laundry, send my invoices, and mend my boyfriend’s pajama pants all in one day, if there were really a full 24 hours.

There really has to be something going on here. Let’s take daylight savings time, for starters, which just mucks everything up. And how does it make sense if it’s not the same everywhere? I’m in Australia, and our daylight savings is different from the USA….and we’re already in the future here compared to my folks in Boston, MA, so yeah….something is definitely afoot.

Last I checked, I was still on tour, it was early December 2013, and I was waiting with bated breath to be able to get on a plane and fly home to Melbourne to be here permanently. It was taking forever at the time. Now, I look up and suddenly, almost overnight, it’s basically March of 2014.

I just don’t know how it happens. The hamsters don’t have any answers either.

I think the kittens know. When I asked them they remained silent but got these looks on their faces….like they knew, but they just wouldn’t tell me. Maybe the cats are behind the conspiracy, I don’t know, but could someone please help me find all my lost hours? They’ve got to be out there somewhere.

Maybe with all the lost left socks.

I am determined to get to the bottom of this.