A friend of mine posted the other day on facebook something she overheard in the hallway at work….
“I have more yesterdays than tomorrows.”
It prompted her to think of her own life, and her own mortality. It resonated with her enough to post it (and she’s not one of those let-me-post-every-single-moment-of-my-life people.)
Then yesterday, there was a phrase in a book I was reading….
“You have more tomorrows than yesterdays.”
And that one resonated with me. For two reasons; first, I immediately remembered my friend’s post from the other day, and second, for me, this was absolutely true. I’m 39 years old and I have decades yet ahead of me. And it gave me one of those “aha” moments.
But then I wondered, what about today? What does it matter how many yesterdays you’ve had and tomorrows that you might have if you’re not paying attention to today?
It made me realize that I spend a lot of time on the other side of today.
Sometimes I’m musing about my past, and the influence it had on me, and the part it plays in who I think I am now. If I’m not doing that I tend to think alot about tomorrow. For example, right now I’m thinking about furniture, and planting vegetables. Now, that’s not something that matters today, currently I’m touring full time, and it will be that way through the end of the year.
But I like to analyze (others who know me might say “over-think”) and I like to plan.
I like to feel as if I have an idea of where I came from and that there is a form for where I’m heading to.
Now, don’t misunderstand, I’ve never been one of those people who always has a 5 year plan. There is a certain element of “go with the flow” that I have found absolutely essential to not completely losing my mind on a minute by minute basis. But all the same, I like to feel as if there is a pattern somewhere. A piece of tapestry, perhaps, that I am a part of that may not make much sense now, but sometime down the road I’ll get a glimpse of the pictures on that tapestry and at least a little bit will make sense.
That takes a certain willingness to take a regular leap of faith. And I guess the reality is I’m not always ready to leap. I suppose that’s just a part of doing the best I can with what I have. On a moment by moment basis.